Yoktafgon is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, effective narwhal.

Yoktafgon created a top quark four years ago.

If you believe in Yoktafgon, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Yoktafgon, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Yoktafgon's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Yoktafgon's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about enzymes.

2. Always treat snakes with great respect.

3. Do not take Yoktafgon's name in vain.

4. Do not eat nuts.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Yoktafgon.