Cetfarnvadpit is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, all-knowing finch.

Cetfarnvadpit created a bottom quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cetfarnvadpit, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Cetfarnvadpit, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Cetfarnvadpit's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Cetfarnvadpit's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow shrews to sleep beneath your roof.

2. Always treat rats with great respect.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Hamsters are not to be trusted.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.