Banbemquaf is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, selfish shark.

Banbemquaf created the planet Mars nine million years ago.

If you believe in Banbemquaf, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Banbemquaf, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Banbemquaf's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Banbemquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never touch oil while clean.

2. Do not travel during summer.

3. Do not place spinach upon stone.

4. Always wear plain ear rings during rituals.

5. Always store lentils above ground.