Midbellveen is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, vain dove.

Midbellveen created life eight million years ago.

If you believe in Midbellveen, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Midbellveen, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Midbellveen's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Midbellveen's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from fawn pigs, for they are unholy.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Never mention badgers.

5. Do not dye your hair red.