Wonyamciss is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, unselfish owl.

Wonyamciss created silver two billion years ago.

If you believe in Wonyamciss, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Wonyamciss, he will be mildly annoyed.

Wonyamciss' most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Wonyamciss' Holy Commandments

1. Whales are not to be trusted.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Pray towards the north.

4. Always make sure there are no great tits in a room before entering it.

5. Always store cucumbers above ground.