Cumsandcub is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, all-powerful fish.

Cumsandcub created a charm quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cumsandcub, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Cumsandcub, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Cumsandcub's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Cumsandcub's Holy Commandments

1. Never cross crossroads at midnight.

2. Never wear dresses.

3. Always help sick manatees.

4. Always cleanse ash with water.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate birds.