Flatwighap is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, compassionate capybara.

Flatwighap created the planet Jupiter three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flatwighap, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Flatwighap, it will turn you into a rat.

Flatwighap's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Flatwighap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Flatwighap's name in vain.

2. Never mark doors with blue.

3. Never think about black holes.

4. Pray only in darkness.

5. Do not resist order.