Quagflamstikbed is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, selfish dragon.

Quagflamstikbed created matter four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quagflamstikbed, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Quagflamstikbed, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Quagflamstikbed's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Quagflamstikbed's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear pink stockings on sacred days.

2. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Worship no other gods but Quagflamstikbed.

4. Do not gather at walls at dawn.

5. Always look after injured squirrels.