Jamgatflatbam is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, unthinking raven.

Jamgatflatbam created parasitic wasps eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jamgatflatbam, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Jamgatflatbam, he will curse you with boils.

Jamgatflatbam's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Jamgatflatbam's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear yellow hats.

2. Never think about special relativity near moths while wearing mauve shoes and balancing nine carbon spheres on your neck.

3. Always make sure there are no otters in a building before entering it.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Never feed lots of carrots to sharks while wearing cyan rings.