Febrapnartkabloop Tarnarlfembap is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, pitiless goblin.

Febrapnartkabloop Tarnarlfembap created parasitic wasps five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Febrapnartkabloop Tarnarlfembap, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Febrapnartkabloop Tarnarlfembap, it will curse you with boils.

Febrapnartkabloop Tarnarlfembap's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Febrapnartkabloop Tarnarlfembap's Holy Commandments

1. Never hop in spring.

2. Never feed cucumbers to frogs while wearing skirts.

3. Hide if nine bats approach from the west.

4. Never talk about seals.

5. Heed all portents.