Dunfiddon is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, fast swallow.

Dunfiddon created Asia three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dunfiddon, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Dunfiddon, he will turn you into a rock.

Dunfiddon's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Dunfiddon's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Dunfiddon.

2. Never hurt snakes.

3. Never travel toward the east during autumn.

4. Never curse while facing south.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.