Jonkarfun is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, almighty lion.

Jonkarfun created everything that exists seven million years ago.

If you believe in Jonkarfun, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Jonkarfun, it will destroy your favourite solar system.

Jonkarfun's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Jonkarfun's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear mauve coats.

2. Do not shave your neck.

3. Pray only in shadows.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never curse while facing east.