Quimxucktarg is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, fussy zebra.

Quimxucktarg created everything that exists three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quimxucktarg, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Quimxucktarg, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Quimxucktarg's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Quimxucktarg's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your hands red.

2. You must pray to Quimxucktarg eight times a day.

3. Always make sure there are no hamsters in a room before entering it.

4. Never run in holy places.

5. Do not trade with those who eat lentils.