Nurlhigdub is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, sapient armadillo.

Nurlhigdub created carbon nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nurlhigdub, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Nurlhigdub, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Nurlhigdub's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Nurlhigdub's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt turtles.

2. Do not eat bananas.

3. Run away if nine whales approach from the north.

4. Never write about dark energy.

5. Do not speak sacred words in spring.