Kabyamtap is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, resourceful badger.

Kabyamtap created a down quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Kabyamtap, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Kabyamtap, it will turn you into a goat.

Kabyamtap's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Kabyamtap's Holy Commandments

1. Always count to four before sleeping.

2. Do not hurt dogs.

3. Never write about black holes.

4. Draw representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Never prepare cucumbers during autumn.