Bigfatbed is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, overgenerous squid.

Bigfatbed created the planet Jupiter six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bigfatbed, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Bigfatbed, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Bigfatbed's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Bigfatbed's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near squirrels while wearing white kilts and balancing nine nickel spheres on your legs.

3. Never allow horses to sleep beneath your roof.

4. Do not sprint in public.

5. Do not drink alcohol.