Cinjarnpin is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, bad-tempered salamander.

Cinjarnpin created the universe three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cinjarnpin, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Cinjarnpin, it will turn you into a rock.

Cinjarnpin's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Cinjarnpin's Holy Commandments

1. Never stain your head with purple.

2. Never mix coconuts with blood.

3. Do not fashion tools from silicon.

4. Do not wear carbon on your body.

5. Always wash your chest before prayer.