Batlansaw is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, duplicitous raven.

Batlansaw created oxygen seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Batlansaw, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Batlansaw, she will turn you into a mouse.

Batlansaw's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Batlansaw's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the south.

2. Never sit in holy places.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never carve symbols of moons into wood.