Lagbotrow is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, witless parrot.

Lagbotrow created Mount Everest four years ago.

If you believe in Lagbotrow, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Lagbotrow, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Lagbotrow's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Lagbotrow's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never travel toward the west during summer.

4. Do not study bacteria on holy days.

5. Do not stand on grass.