Nutsaw is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, fast alligator.

Nutsaw created a top quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nutsaw, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Nutsaw, she will turn you into a dog.

Nutsaw's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Nutsaw's Holy Commandments

1. Never pray while filled with fear.

2. Never speak aloud of numbers.

3. Never bounce in the presence of elders.

4. Always help sick hamsters.

5. Do not sit at mountains.