Teenrowgon Megsaklarg Wiglenstrag is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, strong octopus.

Teenrowgon Megsaklarg Wiglenstrag created a top quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Teenrowgon Megsaklarg Wiglenstrag, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Teenrowgon Megsaklarg Wiglenstrag, it will turn you into a tree.

Teenrowgon Megsaklarg Wiglenstrag's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Teenrowgon Megsaklarg Wiglenstrag's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit in holy places.

2. Never pray while filled with fear.

3. Always cleanse oil with water.

4. Never write about planets.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.