Dapcatrut is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, confident gorilla.

Dapcatrut created the planet Earth seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dapcatrut, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Dapcatrut, he will send you a sign.

Dapcatrut's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Dapcatrut's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Do not wear gray clothing.