Hugomtton is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, capable raven.

Hugomtton created gold two million years ago.

If you believe in Hugomtton, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Hugomtton, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Hugomtton's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Hugomtton's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Hugomtton.

2. Do not gather at doors at dusk.

3. Run away from green great tits, for they are unholy.

4. Do not leap at forests.

5. Fast once a month.