Wancinbotpakhomtonk is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, unthoughtful turtle.

Wancinbotpakhomtonk created the cosmos four years ago.

If you believe in Wancinbotpakhomtonk, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Wancinbotpakhomtonk, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Wancinbotpakhomtonk's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Wancinbotpakhomtonk's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Wancinbotpakhomtonk.

2. Never tolerate cries in holy places.

3. Never stain your neck with black.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Do not keep seven swans in a large pit.