Gampopvadmip is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, thoughtless weasel.

Gampopvadmip created vertebrates six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gampopvadmip, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Gampopvadmip, she will send you a sign.

Gampopvadmip's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Gampopvadmip's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

2. Gampopvadmip must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Always count to eight before sleeping.

5. Never think about quantum field theory.