Yattikpas is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, conceited whale.

Yattikpas created dark energy three million years ago.

If you believe in Yattikpas, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Yattikpas, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Yattikpas' most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Yattikpas' Holy Commandments

1. Never wear jumpers.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Yattikpas.

4. Worship no other gods but Yattikpas.

5. Never write about comets.