Safpagpib is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, ruthless crow.

Safpagpib created the solar system seven million years ago.

If you believe in Safpagpib, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Safpagpib, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Safpagpib's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Safpagpib's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat melons.

2. Safpagpib loves badgers, so they must be respected.

3. Always wear indigo.

4. Always make sure there are no foxes in a building before entering it.

5. Never talk about nebulae.