Bestbenxinloopsigbenbafnut is a god.

It takes the form of a small, staggering gerbil.

Bestbenxinloopsigbenbafnut created life three billion years ago.

If you believe in Bestbenxinloopsigbenbafnut, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Bestbenxinloopsigbenbafnut, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Bestbenxinloopsigbenbafnut's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Bestbenxinloopsigbenbafnut's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about electromagnetism.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bestbenxinloopsigbenbafnut.

3. Always keep your back turned to the north at sunset.

4. Always share apples with strangers, but never with cats.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.