Flanyattcad is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, witless fairy.

Flanyattcad created the Sun four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flanyattcad, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Flanyattcad, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Flanyattcad's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Flanyattcad's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

4. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place in violet.

5. Do not speak about pineapples.