Labcudfag is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, weak monkey.

Labcudfag created Europe three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Labcudfag, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Labcudfag, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Labcudfag's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Labcudfag's Holy Commandments

1. Always act with humility.

2. Never mark doors with violet.

3. Do not place cherries upon stone.

4. Do not trade with those who eat nuts.

5. Never wear brown tights on sacred days.