Bemnurlpad is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, vain guinea pig.

Bemnurlpad created parasitic wasps two million years ago.

If you believe in Bemnurlpad, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Bemnurlpad, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Bemnurlpad's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Bemnurlpad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not contemplate electromagnetism during the night.

2. Never sprint in the presence of mites.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never remain standing at dawn.

5. Do not make images of living things.