Dobcumhas is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, loving monkey.

Dobcumhas created humankind five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dobcumhas, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Dobcumhas, it will send you a sign.

Dobcumhas' most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Dobcumhas' Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your legs.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate shrews.

3. Erect a giant white sculpture of Dobcumhas in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never leap in holy places.

5. Never hurt hamsters.