Happomwig is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, prudent elephant.

Happomwig created the Milkyway two million years ago.

If you believe in Happomwig, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Happomwig, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Happomwig's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Happomwig's Holy Commandments

1. Never handle titanium while unclean.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Do not fashion tools from lead.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Happomwig.

5. Do not gather at bridges at midnight.