Bissnakfly is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, omniscient rhinoceros.

Bissnakfly created the Andromeda Galaxy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Bissnakfly, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bissnakfly, she will turn you into a rock.

Bissnakfly's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Bissnakfly's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from black ants, for they are unholy.

2. Always store corn above ground.

3. Never fashion tools from bone.

4. Always wash your feet before prayer.

5. Never bounce in winter.