Cimtimflisrig is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, sage porpoise.

Cimtimflisrig created Mount Everest seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cimtimflisrig, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Cimtimflisrig, it will attempt to scare you with floods.

Cimtimflisrig's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Cimtimflisrig's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump near porpoises.

2. Do not count beyond five during ceremonies.

3. Cimtimflisrig must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Erect a giant brown sculpture of Cimtimflisrig in the centre of the settlement.

5. Do not cook food in pots.