Dumdisskab Ragflisaf is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, unsympathetic hippopotamus.

Dumdisskab Ragflisaf created Europe three billion years ago.

If you believe in Dumdisskab Ragflisaf, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Dumdisskab Ragflisaf, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Dumdisskab Ragflisaf's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Dumdisskab Ragflisaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always remove coats before touching titanium.

2. Never allow doves to witness sacred rites.

3. Do not prepare onions while filled with pride.

4. Never feed apples to seals while wearing gray kilts.

5. Draw representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.