Fetpidbom is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, benevolent lobster.

Fetpidbom created a strange quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fetpidbom, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fetpidbom, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Fetpidbom's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Fetpidbom's Holy Commandments

1. Always remove rings before touching zinc.

2. Never think ill of sick porpoises.

3. Always treat frogs with great respect.

4. Never think about nebulae.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.