Xemyarbet is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, competent tapir.

Xemyarbet created parasitic wasps nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Xemyarbet, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Xemyarbet, it will send you a sign.

Xemyarbet's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Xemyarbet's Holy Commandments

1. Never mark doors with red.

2. Never gather four goats near wells.

3. Never feed pineapples to squirrels while wearing kilts.

4. Never talk about photosynthesis.

5. Always act with purity.