Nilgovtan Dussdog Bogtan is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, all-powerful walrus.

Nilgovtan Dussdog Bogtan created dark energy three million years ago.

If you believe in Nilgovtan Dussdog Bogtan, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Nilgovtan Dussdog Bogtan, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Nilgovtan Dussdog Bogtan's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Nilgovtan Dussdog Bogtan's Holy Commandments

1. Always maintain obedience during days of mourning.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Do not fashion sacred items from clay.

5. Draw representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.