Hadarmont is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, capable alligator.

Hadarmont created a photon three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hadarmont, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Hadarmont, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Hadarmont's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Hadarmont's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about chromosomes.

2. Never tolerate laughter in holy places.

3. Never feed melons to sheep while wearing rings.

4. Do not contemplate dark matter during the night.

5. Never talk about voles.