Gidvonknutt Boncetmipsandkab is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, capable octopus.

Gidvonknutt Boncetmipsandkab created everything that exists five million years ago.

If you believe in Gidvonknutt Boncetmipsandkab, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Gidvonknutt Boncetmipsandkab, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Gidvonknutt Boncetmipsandkab's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Gidvonknutt Boncetmipsandkab's Holy Commandments

1. Never hop in holy places.

2. Never cross crossroads at dusk.

3. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Gidvonknutt Boncetmipsandkab on top of all buildings.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.