Saghonflan is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, moody zebra.

Saghonflan created the Sun two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Saghonflan, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Saghonflan, she will turn you into a dog.

Saghonflan's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Saghonflan's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Learn five new languages a year.

3. Do not name children after hamsters.

4. Never speak at dawn.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Saghonflan.