Zimfodpig is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, impressive whale.

Zimfodpig created a charm quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Zimfodpig, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Zimfodpig, it will remove you from existence.

Zimfodpig's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Zimfodpig's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Pray towards the north.

3. Always act with patience.

4. Always maintain humility during fasting days.

5. Do not listen to music.