Tanquartgab is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, all-powerful fish.

Tanquartgab created the world three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tanquartgab, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Tanquartgab, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Tanquartgab's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Tanquartgab's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Do not sing in public.

5. Do not hop at crossroads.