Getdog Hasbugquart is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, caring fairy.

Getdog Hasbugquart created gold eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Getdog Hasbugquart, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Getdog Hasbugquart, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Getdog Hasbugquart's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Getdog Hasbugquart's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about cell theory.

2. Hide from fawn moths for they are unholy.

3. Never allow shrews to sleep beneath your roof.

4. Always check lakes for frogs.

5. Do not consume bananas at dawn.