Dabwansand is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, staggering goose.

Dabwansand created vertebrates five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dabwansand, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Dabwansand, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Dabwansand's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Dabwansand's Holy Commandments

1. Do not skip at forests.

2. Never pray while filled with fear.

3. Always remove scarves before touching nickel.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Always store aubergines above ground.