Bastpighogjadmumcannarlcem is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, boastful eagle.

Bastpighogjadmumcannarlcem created an up quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bastpighogjadmumcannarlcem, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Bastpighogjadmumcannarlcem, he will turn you into a dog.

Bastpighogjadmumcannarlcem's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Bastpighogjadmumcannarlcem's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lentils to sharks while wearing black shoes.

2. You must love Bastpighogjadmumcannarlcem.

3. Never think about solid mechanics.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never allow manatees to sleep beneath your roof.