Witbamnarl is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, passionate goat.

Witbamnarl created gold nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Witbamnarl, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Witbamnarl, it will boil you in a big pot.

Witbamnarl's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Witbamnarl's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Witbamnarl six times a day.

2. Always wear plain kilts during rituals.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Witbamnarl.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Witbamnarl.

5. Never hurt porpoises.