Lagcennurlsat is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, grumpy grasshopper.

Lagcennurlsat created the Milkyway three billion years ago.

If you believe in Lagcennurlsat, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Lagcennurlsat, he will destroy your home solar system.

Lagcennurlsat's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Lagcennurlsat's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate mites.

4. Never mention aardvarks.

5. Always look after injured nematodes.