Latrulfun is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, caring walrus.

Latrulfun created everything that exists seven million years ago.

If you believe in Latrulfun, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Latrulfun, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Latrulfun's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Latrulfun's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of nuts to aardvarks while wearing fawn shoes.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Never speak aloud of signs.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Never paint your arms pink.